Mrs Trellis cannot be displayed
This site is so badly mismanaged that the page cannot be found. The webmaster experiences emotional difficulties most of the time so there is little point in adjusting your browser settings.

Go on then, if it makes you happier please:

  • Click the gifs/refresh.gif (82 bytes) Refresh button while chanting under your breathe and count very slowly from 1 to 1000 in welsh.
  • If you typed the page address in the Address bar, you have made a huge error. Please try almost any other website on the planet instead.
  • To check your sanity settings, click the Tools menu, and then click Psychiatric Options. On the Shrink tab, click Settings. The settings should match those provided by your Large Annoyed Nanny (LAN) administrator or Internal Sanity Pusher (ISP).
  • If your Parole Officer has allowed it, Herb Lindows can examine your bush and automatically detect network connection settings.
    If you would prefer Mrs Trellis to try and examine it for you, click Detect Settings Detect Network Settings
  • Some sites require 128-bit connection security. This site isn't one of them since the content defies most logical explanations of sanity. Click the Help menu and then click About Mrs Trellis to determine what strength sanity you have installed. Try going for a short walk.
  • If you are trying to reach the following, please click on the page number: Aardant, most blatant winner of "First in Index" award 1, Horses of the Apocolypse 4, July 14 Number of legs left on Bunty after nasty accident with food mixer 3, Weapons of Mouse Destruction 0.
  • Click the Back button to try to understand where you may be going horribly wrong in life.


Cannot find stick insects anywhere - please check your house plants very carefully